Work, Retire… Then You Die.

“The years go by faster as you get older.” This is a piece of experience I’ve often heard from people who have more years than myself. The idea being that, as you get older, your lifestyle becomes more fixed. Going from 17 to 21 is a much bigger change than 40 to 44.

Does it have to be that way?

Recently, in my article about living a digital lifestyle, I talked about the benefits that could come from not being dependent on any location. You could travel around the world without having to spend a fortune and derail your career.

But many of you commented that a completely mobile lifestyle would soon be pretty shallow. You would visit many places without having a home, building deeper relationships would be difficult and you would miss out on the benefits of staying in one place.

I think part of these fears stem from the belief that you will have the same lifestyle at every point in your life. This comes from the mythology in our culture that you need to settle down, get a job and live basically the same way from 25 until retirement.

Why Stay Married to a Lifestyle?

In past articles, I’ve contrasted a digital lifestyle (which involves few possessions, complete freedom and lots of traveling) to the typical suburban lifestyle which requires vacation days to leave the country. I’ve been contrasting the two as if you could only live one or the other. But why can’t you lead both?

I think part of the time compression I quoted at the start of this article can be attributed to having a fixed lifestyle. When you are attached only to one mode of living, you fall into habits. Change becomes harder to do and the years blend into each other. Until the promise of nanotechnology extends the human lifespan to hundreds of years, why cut it short by living 30+ years on repeat?

Vertical and Lateral Growth

In past articles, I’ve tried to split up improvement into vertical and lateral directions. Vertical growth coming from setting goals, productive work and doing more within your field. Lateral growth coming from getting outside your comfort zone, trying new things and exploring completely different fields. I think people need both to be happy.

But I don’t think the vertical and lateral growth directions work best when you have a 50/50 mix of the two. I believe you’re better off if you try to focus on one direction at a time. Spend a few years working on becoming the best and then spend a few years exploring the world. How do you accomplish these cycles if you’re living a fixed lifestyle that doesn’t change from year to year?

I’m not sure that you can. An unfixed lifestyle gives you the flexibility to switch between vertical and lateral every few years.

What Keeps Lifestyles Fixed?

I’m a young guy, so I haven’t had the experience to know what specific obstacles keep people stuck in the same lifestyle year after year. But I have a few ideas:

• Jobs. Work keeps you in the 9-5 grind until retirement. Although there is some employment flexibility, this is a big reason I feel entrepreneurship and freelancing will be the only ways to go for people seeking an unfixed lifestyle.
• Children. Having kids often keeps people in a fixed lifestyle. But I wonder whether keeping stability for children is the reason or excuse for staying fixed. I know people who raised well-adjusted, happy kids who were able to break away from their lifestyle for longer than a vacation.
• Habit. Probably the biggest reason for staying fixed is routine. It is way easier to do the same thing, day after day, than it is to break your habits. I’ve been living in a new place for only two months and already habits have been established. I can only imagine the force this has after 15 years of conditioning.
• Fear. It’s more comfortable to do what has worked before. Your lifestyle doesn’t have to be perfect to keep you from wanting to adjust it.
• Marriage. If your spouse is in a fixed lifestyle, you may feel compelled to stay fixed as well.

These are just a few of the forces keeping people into the same routines every day. I’m sure you can think of others.

What’s the Cure?

I’m not sure what the perfect solution for an unfixed lifestyle is. But, based on observation, I’d say the most important thing is having the motivation to adjust every few years. If you don’t see a problem with spending half your life in exactly the same fashion, you won’t have any energy to change it.

I’m a goal oriented person by nature. While I can be spontaneous, I work best with a plan. My strategy for staying unfixed is to always have ideas for the next venture or adventure. By keeping these on the to-do list, I have a smaller chance of settling into habits because of fear or routine.

I don’t want to have to tell my kids that the years speed up as you get older. There are only so many of them, so why live on autopilot?

工作，退休，然后死亡

      “年纪越大，时间就过得越快。”很多年长的人都有这样的经验之谈，我就听过不少。这话是说，人随着年岁的增长，生活方式会越来越固定。比如同样是五年，17岁到21岁的变化就要比40岁到44岁时大得多。

一定会是这样的吗？

      我最近写过一篇关于数字化生活方式的文章，其中提到我们可以不再受制于地理位置，完全有可能不用花很多钱也不用放弃工作就周游世界。

      但很多读者评论说，这种全盘移动化的生活方式很有局限，不能维持很久。居无定所的话就没办法维持家庭，要建立深入的人际关系也很困难，还会失掉其它很多定居生活的好处。

      我认为这些担忧部分是出于一种思维定势，认为人的一生该有一种生活方式一以贯之，因为在我们的文化里，代代相传都认为人过了25岁就该安定下来，成家立业，按部就班，直到退休。

为什么要和一种生活方式白头偕老？

      在以往的文章里，我对比过数字化的生活方式和传统的中产阶级生活方式。前者以较为简单的物质需求换取更大的自由，兴之所至，挥挥衣袖，就能上路；后者要去看看别的国家，就得等到假日。这样对比着说，听来感觉两种生活就像是鱼和熊掌。我们有没有可能兼得呢？

      本文开头提到的那种时间越过越快的印象，在我看来，一定程度上就是缘于固定的生活方式。想想看，你每天每天都按着同一套程式过日子，让习惯完全接管你的生活，要做点什么改变越来越难，直到日子和日子交融在一起，一年和一年没有区别。等科技发展到人能活上几百岁的时候，我们也还要这样，三十几岁往后就重复同样的生活吗？

纵向与横向的发展

      我在之前的文章里试过把人的发展分为纵向和横向这两种。纵向发展通过设定目标，高绩效的工作，在自己的领域里不断的追求和创造来实现。横向发展则是指踏出熟悉的小圈子，尝试新鲜事物，去探索完全不同的领域。我相信幸福的人生是需要有这两个方面的。

      但我并不是鼓吹要照这样子把生活一分为二。我相信一次关注其中一个方面比较好，先花若干年成为一个领域的专家，再花上若干年探索更广阔的世界。假如生活方式经年累月一成不变，能这样周期性的切换吗？

      我看不太容易吧。而不固定的生活方式则能给你这个机动性。

是什么固定了我们的生活方式？

      我自己还是一个毛头小子，所以没什么资格总结说，究竟是哪几样东西把人钉到一种生活上，年复一年动弹不得。就我想到的，有这几样：

• 工作 工作把你栓在朝九晚五的磨上一圈一圈直拖到退休。当然每种职业都有它自己的弹性，但要实现不固定的生活方式，我看要么自己做老板，要么干脆当个自由职业者。
• 子女 通常有了子女之后生活就会相当规律。但我一直不能确定，让孩子有个稳定的成长环境，是这种一成不变的原因呢，还是只是一个借口。因为我也知道有一些人，做了父母之后仍然能够打破既有的生活模式，不是那种偶尔度个假的程度哦，而他们的孩子也都很快乐，并没有适应不了。
• 习惯 恐怕惯性才是固定生活方式最大的原因。每天做一样的事当然比改变习惯更容易。我搬到现在这个地方才两个月，已经有很多东西形成习惯了，那些一待就是十五年的环境力量能有多大，光是想想就很吓人。
• 恐惧 做以往做过的事当然更安心自在。可生活也不至于完美到你从来不想有所不同吧。
• 婚姻 如果你的另一半生活方式很固定，你自己恐怕也不得不这样。

      当然这只是其中一部分原因啦，你一定还会想到一些其它的。

那该怎么办？

      我自己对不固定的生活方式也没有一个完善的方案。但照我观察来看，最重要的还是自己要有这个意愿，每过几年就做点调整。假如你根本就不觉得重复单调的生活有什么不好，又怎么会有这个动力去改变它呢。

      我自己本质上是个靠目标驱动的人。在通常情况下，如果有计划可遵循，我会发挥得最好。所以要维持一个不固定的生活方式，我的方法是永远设定好下一个冒险。我的清单上有那么多想做的事，那些恐惧也好，惯性也好，我才不那么容易输给习惯呢。

      因为我不要将来也对我的孩子说，年纪越大，时间就过得越快。生活有那么多可能的样子，为什么要有部攻略，教人走别人走过的路？