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How to Squash Negative Thought Patterns

Suppose you have the bad habit of dwelling too much on the same negative thoughts.  And suppose there’s no outward physical manifestation associated to them.  It’s just negative thinking, like “I’m so depressed” or “I hate my job” or “I can’t do this” or “I hate being fat.”  How do you break a bad habit when it’s entirely in your mind?

There are actually quite a number of ways to decondition a negative thought pattern.  The basic idea is to replace the old pattern with a new one.  Mentally resisting the negative thought will usually backfire — you’ll simply reinforce it and make it even worse.  The more you fire those neurons in the same way, the stronger the pattern becomes.

Here’s a little method I use to break negative thought patterns.  It’s basically something I conconcted from a combination of the swish pattern from NLP and a memory technique known as chaining.  I usually find the swish pattern alone to be weak and ineffective, but this method works very well for me.

Instead of trying to resist the negative thought pattern, you will redirect it.  Think of it like mental kung fu.  Take the energy of the negative thought and rechannel it into a positive thought.  With a little mental conditioning, whenever the negative thought occurs, your mind will automatically flow into the linked positive thought.  It’s similar to Pavlov’s dogs learning to salivate when the bell rang.

Here’s how it works:

Let’s assume your negative thought is a subvocalization, meaning that it’s like you hear a voice in your head that says something you want to change, like, “I’m an idiot.”  If the negative thought is visual (a mental image) or kinesthetic (a gut feeling), you can use a similar process.  In many cases the thought will manifest as a combination of all three (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic).

Step 1:  Turn the negative thought into a mental image.

Take that little voice, and turn it into a corresponding mental picture.  For example, if your thought is, “I’m an idiot,” imagine yourself wearing a dunce cap, dressed very foolishly, and jumping around like a dork.  See yourself surrounded by other people all pointing at you while you shout, “I’m an idiot.”  The more you exaggerate the scene, the better.  Imagine bright colors, lots of animation, rapid movement, and even sexual imagery if it helps you remember.  Rehearse this scene over and over in your mind until you reach the point where thinking the negative thought automatically brings up this goofy imagery.

If you have trouble visualizing, you can also do the above in an auditory fashion.  Translate the negative thought into a sound, such as a jingle that you sing.  Go through the same process with sound instead of imagery.  It works either way.  I happen to prefer the visual method though.

Step 2:  Select an empowering replacement thought.

Now decide what thought you’d like to have instead of the negative one.  So if you’ve been thinking, “I’m an idiot,” maybe you’d like to replace that with “I’m brilliant.”  Choose a thought that empowers you in a way that disrupts the disempowering effect of the original negative thought.

Step 3:  Turn the positive thought into a mental image.

Now go through the same process you used in Step 1 to create a new mental scene from the positive thought.  So with the example “I’m brilliant,” you might imagine yourself standing tall, posing like Superman with your hands on your hips.  Picture a giant light bulb appearing just above your head.  The bulb turns on so bright that it’s blinding, and you see yourself yelling, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!”  Again, keep rehearsing this scene until merely thinking the positive line automatically brings up the associated imagery.

Step 4:  Mentally chain the two images together.

Now take the images in Step 1 and Step 3, and mentally glue them together.  This trick is used in memory techniques like chaining or pegging.  You want to morph the first scene into the second scene.  The NLP swish pattern would have you do a straight cut from one scene to the next, but I recommend you animate the first scene into the second.  A cut is very weak glue and often won’t stick.  So instead pretend you’re the director of a movie.  You have the opening scene and the closing scene, and you have to fill in the middle.  But you only have a few seconds of film left, so you want to find a way to make the transition happen as quickly as possible.

For example, one of the hecklers in the first scene might throw a light bulb at the idiot version of you.  The idiot you catches the bulb and screws it into the top of his head, wincing at the pain.  The bulb then grows into a giant bulb and turns on so bright it blinds all the hecklers.  You rip off your dorky clothing to reveal a shining white robe beneath it.  You stand tall like Superman and yell confidently, “I’m bbbbbrrrrilllllllliannnntttt!”  The hecklers fall to their knees and begin worshipping you.  Again, the more exaggeration you use, the better.  Exaggeration makes it easier to remember the scene because our brains are designed to remember the unusual.

Once you have the whole scene worked out, mentally rehearse it for speed.  Replay the whole scene over and over until you can imagine it from beginning to end in under 2 seconds, ideally in under 1 second.  It should be lightning fast, much faster than you’d see in the real world.

Step 5:  Test.

Now you need to test your mental redirect to see if it works.  It’s a lot like an HTML redirect — when you input the old negative URL, your mind should automatically redirect you to the positive one.  Merely thinking the negative thought should rapidly bring up the positive thought.  If you’ve done this correctly, you won’t be able to help it.  The negative thought is the stimulus that causes your mind to run the whole pattern automatically.  So whenever you happen to think, “I’m an idiot,” even without being fully aware of it, you end up thinking, “I’m brilliant.”

If you’ve never done visualizations like this before, it may take you several minutes or longer to go through this whole process.  Speed comes with practice.  The whole thing can literally be done in seconds once you get used to it.  Don’t let the slowness of the first time through discourage you.  This is a learnable skill like any other, and it probably will feel a bit awkward the first time.

I recommend you experiment with different types of imagery.  You’ll likely find some variations more effective than others.  Pay particular attention to association vs. dissociation.  When you’re associated in a scene, you’re imagining seeing it through your own eyes (i.e. first-person perspective).  When you’re dissociated you’re imagining seeing yourself in the scene (i.e. third-person perspective).  I usually get the best results when I dissociate in both scenes.  Your results may vary.  You may have to do some mental camera work if you switch from dissociated to associated or vice versa, but it can be done with practice.

I did a lot of this type of mental conditioning during the early 90s.  Whenever I uncovered a negative thought, I plucked it out and redirected it.  Within a few days, I had reprogrammed dozens of negative thought patterns, and pretty soon it became hard for my mind to even produce a negative thought or emotion.  Everything kept getting redirected to the positive side.  I think that’s partly why I felt so confident about starting my own business right out of college — I used mental conditioning to redirect the thoughts of self-doubt to a more can-do mindset.  I also used this a lot while in college, and I’m sure it helped me graduate faster than normal.  I still had to deal with plenty of real-world challenges, but at least I wasn’t battling my own self-doubt at the same time.

This type of mental conditioning gave me a lot more conscious control over my internal states.  Today it’s so internalized that I just do it automatically without even thinking about it.  My subconscious took over at some point, so whenever I have a thought like “I can’t,” it automatically gets twisted into “How can I?”  That’s actually supposed to happen – with enough mental conditioning practice, your subconscious will take over.  Memory experts similarly report that with practice, techniques like pegging and chaining are taken over by the subconscious, just like riding a bicycle.

Give this process a try the next time you notice yourself dwelling on a negative thought.  I think you’ll find it very empowering.  And feel free to share it with others who could use a mental pick-me-up.

如何打破消极思维模式

    假设你有种坏习惯:总是不断重复某种消极的想法;并假设这想法跟生活中的事件并无关系,仅仅是种消极的念头,诸如“我好沮丧”或“我讨厌我的工作”或“我干不了这个”或“我讨厌变胖”。被这样的思想占据脑海时,你该如何才能改掉这种坏习惯呢?

    确实有许多方法可以把消极思维模式去条件化,基本核心是用一种新模式来替代旧模式。从心底抗拒消极思想这样的做法经常适得其反——你只会把情况弄得更糟,消极的念头会更强烈——你越是用同样的办法去刺激那些神经元,原有的思维模式就会越稳固。

    这里有种小方法,是我用来破解消极思维模式的。基本上,我是通过结合神经语言程式学(NLP)中的“闪变模式”(swish pattern)和一种名为“连锁记忆”的记忆法来发明这种方法的。我经常发觉,单独使用闪变模式效果不佳,但这种方法对我却起了很大作用。

    你不要试图去抗拒消极思想模式,相反,你要让它改道。就把它想象成一种心理武功吧。让消极思想的能量改道流向积极思想。无论消极思想何时出现,只需在心理上建立条件反射,你的思路就能自动流向与此相关的积极思维。就像巴浦洛夫的狗,一听到铃响,就会分泌唾液。

    以下是具体步骤:

    假设你的消极思想是默念式的,也就是说,你仿佛听到脑海中的有个声音在念叨着某种你想改变的事,比如,“我是个傻瓜。”如果这种消极思想是图像式的(脑海中的图像)或是身体知觉式的(内脏不舒服),你也可以用与此相似的方法。在很多情况下,这些念头会以三者结合的方式出现(图像、声音和知觉)。

第一步:把消极思想图像化。

    把脑海中的小声音转换成相关的图像。比如,如果你想的是“我是个傻瓜”,那就想象自己戴着顶小丑帽,穿得非常可笑,像个傻瓜般跳来跳去。想象你被许多人围观,你一边大叫“我是个傻瓜”,大家一边对你指指戳戳。场景越夸张越好。想象明亮的颜色,生动的形象,以及快速的动作。甚至可以想象一些关于性的场面,只要你觉得有助记忆。在脑中一遍遍演练,直到你每次一有这种消极念头,脑中就会自动出现这个愚蠢的场景。

    如果你觉得把它图像化很难,也可以用上述办法把它听觉化。把消极思想转换成声音,比如你哼唱的旋律。用声音取代图像,完成上述过程。无论哪种方式都会生效。我只是比较喜欢图像化而已。

第二步:选择一种替代想法。

    现在,决定用哪种想法来替代那个消极想法。如果你一直在想:“我是个傻瓜”,也许你会用“我是个天才”来替代。选一种能破除原有消极想法造成的影响的新想法。

第三步:把积极思想图像化。

    现在重复第一步的过程,用积极思想建立一个新的思维场景。就“我是个天才”这个例子而言,你可能会想象自己傲视群雄,像超人那样双手叉腰站着。想象你头顶上方出现了一个巨大的灯泡。灯泡亮了,光芒如此眩目,你看见自己正在大喊:“我是个天——才——!”再次不断演练这个场景,直到想到这句话时就会自动出现这个场景。

第四步:在心里把两幅图像相关联。

    现在,在心里把第一步和第三步想好的场景关联起来。这种技巧常用在诸如连锁记忆和定位记忆之类的记忆法中。你要把第一个场景变成第二个。神经语言程式学的闪变模式会让你直接从第一场景切换到第二场景,但我建议你想办法从第一场景发展到第二场景。简单的切换效果不是很好,也很难持久,因此你可以假想自己是个电影导演,现在已经有了开头和结局,因此必须设计出中间的过程。但你的电影只有几秒钟,所以你要想个办法让剧情尽可能快地发展。

    比如,第一场景中的围观者之一可能会朝那个愚蠢的你扔一个灯泡。愚蠢的你抓住了灯泡,把它拧在那个人的头顶上,他疼得缩了回去。灯泡立即变得巨大,并发出眩目的光芒,让围观者都睁不开眼睛。你扯下自己的可笑的衣服,露出里面华丽的白袍。你像超人般昂首挺胸,自信满满地喊道:“我是个天——才——!”围观者刷刷下跪,朝你顶礼膜拜。同样,场景越夸张越好。夸张能让你更容易地记住,因为我们的大脑天生就喜欢记不寻常的事物。

    一旦你把整个场景都想好了,就再快速地演练几遍。不断重复整个场景,直到你可以在两秒之内把它从头到尾想完,1秒之内就更好了。它必须迅速闪现,比你在现实世界里看到的要快得多。

第五步:测试。

    现在,你得测试一下这种思维转换,看是否生效。这很像是HTML的转向——当你输入旧的网址,它会转换成新的网址。当原来的消极念头涌现出来,头脑就会自动把它变成积极场景。消极的念头一闪,你就应该能迅速想起积极的念头。如果你前面的步骤没做错,那积极的念头你想抑制都抑制不了。消极想法是你的头脑自动运行整个模式的源头。所以,无论何时,只要你突然想到“我是个傻瓜”,在你反应过来之前,这个念头就会变成“我是个天才”。

    如果你以前从未练习过图像化,那完成整个过程可能需要几分钟或更久。熟能生巧。一旦习惯了,全过程只需几秒就能搞定。别因为一开始速度太慢而觉得气馁。这是一种可习得的技巧,跟其它任何技巧一样,在第一次用时也难免笨手笨脚。

    我建议你用不同类型的场景来试验。你很可能会发觉,有些类型比其它类型更有效。把注意力放在关联和解除关联方面。当你关联一个场景时,你要想象自己是通过眼睛看到的(也就是第一人称视角)。当你解除关联时,你要想象看到自己身在场景之中(也就是第三人称视角)。通常,当我用两种场景来解除关联时,能获得最佳结果。你的结果可能更多样。你从解除关联到关联,或是反过来,你可能都得做一些心理成像的工作。但只要练习就能学会。

    在90年代早期,我建立过大量的心理条件反射。每当我发觉一种消极想法,就会把它挑出来改道。几天之内,就把许多消极思维模式统统改造了。很快,我的头脑甚至连产生消极的想法或情绪都变得很难。所有的事情都被改成了积极的。我想,那可能是我刚出校门就对自己创业如此自信的部分原因吧——我用建立心理条件反射的方法,把自我怀疑的想法统统改成了更自信的模式。在大学里我也经常使用它,而且我能肯定,正是这种办法,让我能比一般人更快地毕业。(作者只用了三个学期就读完了大学,详情请看如何在三个学期内上完大学——Nicole)。我仍要面对许多现实世界的挑战,但至少用不着同时还得跟自我怀疑做斗争。

    这种建立心理条件反射的方法让我能够更有意识地控制自己的内在思想。现在,它已经如此内化,我想都不用想,它就会自动生效。我的潜意识在某种程度上已经接管了它,因此无论何时当我冒出诸如“我做不到”之类的想法时,它就会自动变成“我该怎么做?”这是实实在在的——当你练习的次数够多,潜意识就会接管它。记忆学家也写过相似的报告,说明经过练习,诸如定位记忆和连锁记忆这样的技巧就会成为潜意识的习惯,就像骑自行车一样。

    下次当你发现自己有某种消极想法时,试试这个方法。我想你会发现它很有用。你也大可以跟那些懂得自我激励的人分享它。

更多信息,请访问我的博客:活色生香 Nicole俱佳日


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